On the 20th of September, I fell unexpectedly ill, caught off guard by a relentless storm of ailments. What could have triggered this unexpected malaise? Could it have been the relentless fatigue from shuttling between classes, the dorm, cabinet meetings, and elevator rides that left me utterly drained?
Or perhaps it was the capricious Greater Noida weather, which transformed like a chameleon in the blink of an eye? Mornings greeted us with raindrops, only for the sun to seize the sky's reins by day's end, sapping every last ounce of vitality.
Then again, could it have been the four eggs devoured during dinner, their aftermath unleashing a midnight upheaval that sent me pleading with friends to transport me to the wellness center for admission? Perhaps, in my ravenous state, I had overindulged, and my body simply rebelled.
But amidst the throes of discomfort, one persistent notion consumed my thoughts: the burning desire to resign from the Student Cabinet. I grappled with feelings of inadequacy, convinced I was incapable of providing the assistance required when the chips were down.
I am inherently organized, but if success necessitates burning the midnight oil until 2 or 3 in the morning, jeopardizing my well-being, sleep, and fitness, then perhaps I am not the ideal candidate for the role.
My yearning to step away was palpable, driven by the fear of falling short, particularly considering my recurring bouts of sickness on campus—more than three in just four weeks.
Yet, after a mere eight hours of recovery, I found myself reflecting deeply: is quitting truly the easy way out? If it were, wouldn't countless endeavors cease to exist in our world? Our realm would be unrecognizable, bereft of its intricate tapestry.
This prompted another soul-searching question: why had I initially chosen this college path? Why did I apply for the Student Cabinet, join clubs and chapters, and subject myself to interviews?
The answer lay in my longing to connect and evolve, to glean wisdom from diverse individuals and metamorphose into a superior version of myself. Solitary study in my dorm room and academic prowess alone could not facilitate this transformation.
I contemplated postponing my Cabinet involvement to my second year, but people tend to place trust in those who journey alongside them from the outset, and no one applauds a quitter.
Though the temptation to quit gnawed at me fiercely, the allure of learning and gaining experience prevailed. Rather than penning a farewell email, I resolved to challenge my limits, to ascertain just how far I could push myself while maintaining a delicate equilibrium between academics, co-curriculars, and essential pastimes—be it language learning on Duolingo, meticulously documenting my culinary adventures, or revisiting the realms of meditation and yoga, long-neglected passions. I even pledged to devour 30 pages of a book each day.
Turbulent times often compel us to rummage through our past, fixating on our flaws while neglecting our strengths. Instead of reveling in my selection to the Cabinet, I fixated on the inconvenience of late-night work, a trivial concern given that greatness seldom materializes during daylight hours.
For the most part, I've perceived myself as a timid, introverted soul, ill-equipped for the harsh realities of the world. To some extent, this self-assessment holds true, for the world can indeed be unforgiving, and some individuals struggle to assimilate seamlessly.
One steadfast truth has guided me, however: the power of affirmations. By incessantly reinforcing positive beliefs, I've witnessed myself transform in response. It underscores the wisdom of maintaining an optimistic outlook and self-affirmation—our thoughts shape our reality.
The future remains an enigma. Let's embrace it with open hearts and open minds.
Farewell, dear readers! With affection!
Commentaires