i hate cafeterias. i loathe them with a passion. never again do i want to set foot in one. every time i walk in or out, i see her there. she's always around, never alone, surrounded by either a group of boys or, lately, just one specific boy. it kills me inside, a deep, aching pain. i don't understand why it happens, but a sudden wave of emotions washes over me, making me want to scream my heart out.
is it just me, or does this happen to everyone? i wish i could just scream and tell her, "hey, you," but i know i won't. still, it doesn't stop me from wanting to.
i know i shouldn't dwell on it, but deep down, i know that if i approached her, even just as friends, and she's already dating someone, it would shatter me.
friendship isn't enough. i want more, something deeper. love can blossom from friendship, but right now, i don't want any of that.
eye contact is the most intimidating thing ever. gosh, why are they so intense? they don't say anything, yet they hold so much power.
and then there's the cosmic injustice of our encounters. like some cruel cosmic joke, whenever i put in the effort, meticulously styling my hair and donning my most impressive outfit (one that cost me a small fortune, no less!), you vanish. poof! gone! yet, the moment i'm lounging in my pajamas, hair a disaster, you materialize like a cafeteria ghost. it's infuriating! why can't i ever be in my prime avatar when i actually want to impress you? the universe truly works in mysterious ways, and honestly, most of them suck.
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