top of page
Writer's pictureRajan Chauhan

When did I lost innocence?

Growing up, we all have a phase of innocence where we believe in the goodness of the world and everything seems beautiful. However, as we move forward in life, we come across different experiences that make us question this innocence, and we realize that the world is not as we once thought it was. ( Why the heck am I sounding like old man, Anyway )


For me, this realization came during my 11th and 12th-grade years when the pandemic forced us to attend school completely online. Initially, I was excited about the idea of online classes, but as time passed, I realized how monotonous and tiring it could be.


During this period, I stopped watching cartoons and started becoming more conscious of real-life problems.

I began watching the news, Netflix, and other series that talked about real-life issues.

I watched the news and saw how people were suffering and dying from the virus. I saw how the economy was collapsing and how people were losing their jobs and their homes. I saw how the environment was deteriorating and how animals were going extinct.


I binge-watched series and shows that were meant for adults. I saw violence and sex and drugs and crime. I saw betrayal and corruption and injustice. I saw pain and suffering and death.I felt shocked and disgusted. I felt curious and intrigued. I felt aroused and guilty. I felt like I was growing up too fast.


I felt scared and sad. I felt helpless and hopeless. I felt angry and frustrated. I felt like nothing made sense anymore.


In the meantime, I forgot if even cartoons existed. It was like a whole new world had opened up, and I was eager to explore it.


I began to understand the complexity of the world and the challenges people face, which I never knew before. My innocence slowly faded away, and I became more aware of the reality around me.


But then something else happens that makes me smile.

A child or a niece or a nephew comes to my home and asks me to put on cartoons for them.

And then I do.

And then we watch together

And then we laugh and get excited.

And then we feel like we are in a different world that gets hidden temporarily.

And get emotional when I see how much joy it brings them. I remember how I felt when I was their age, and the cartoons felt like a different world. I felt like I was living in a dreamland. Those memories are still fresh in my mind, and it reminds me of the innocence I once had.


Now, as an growing adult, I have different responsibilities and priorities, but those moments of watching cartoons with children remind me of the simpler times. I realized that even though I have grown up and faced the realities of life, there is no harm in revisiting the past and experiencing those innocent moments once again.


Sometimes I wish I could go back to those simpler times when cartoons were my world.

Wish I had the remote to just pause the time when I was 6yr old and never grow.

I hate growing.


How contradictive it is that , When we are kids- We want to get old and Enjoy the world , Have Freedom to Do Anything Without any restrictions.


On the other hand- When we are growing older , we wish to go back to past after knowing that how troublesome is the adulthood.

PS: The 20s are going to be the best period of my life !

2 views0 comments

Related Posts

See All

Comments


    Blog Archive

bottom of page